Motherhood saved me.
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Big love,
SB x
Last week I had the opportunity to reflect on just how much I have changed, since becoming a Mother.
Since becoming a Mother, I have lost contact with many of the people that I was once affilated with, in my maidenhood years. Motherhood closed the door to an old self: a self that in many ways, lacked boundaries and containment and that was concerned with networking and being out in the world much more than I am now.
And just this week, I had the opportunity to recognise just how different my life is, now.
Somehow, an ex client of mine from at least seven years ago (as I fell pregnant nearly six years ago now… yes, I have a five year old), came into my field, commenting to a friend of mine about how she felt I used to “siphon” her energy.
And it is a funny thing. I shrink at those words, because there is not a single part of me that wishes to “siphon” from anyone. Even the idea of that kind of vampiric energetic disturbs me. I am in constant reflection of how life is constantly in karmic reaction to the way that I show up, and there is no way that I would ever want the karma of a succubus.
AND I was just speaking to some of my students this week, on how my energy hygeine as a practitioner and teacher was sometimes horrible in my more youthful maiden years. I got away with treating my body in substandard ways. I drank a lot of coffee and constantly pushed past my own limits and boundaries.
In our maiden years, we are more focused on width than we are depth.
Motherhood is an initiation into descent. It teaches us the importance of honouring our physical vessel, of boundaries and of protecting our intimate space.
And Motherhood, for me, was a profound teacher in this respect. It was pregnancy that really taught me energetic containment. You cannot maintain the same levels of “out there” in pregnancy and early post partum, because you only have the resources to sustain yourself and your babe.
And here is the thing: when we push past our own boundaries and our energy leaks, it can feel like a “siphoning” of others energies. Because we have to draw our energy from somewhere. And even if it is deeply unconscious, those that are in depletion, will draw upon others they are connected to in the field to essentially feed on.
That is why teaching boundaries, consent, energy hygeine and also how to nourish the physical vessel are core pillars now within all of my teaching programs.
I will be teaching a masterclass in the coming week called Commanding the room: The Energetics of Space Holding and those within my paid substack community will receive the recording free of charge.
Because this has been one of my deepest learnings in this lifetime; and it is one that I continually deepen into with every year I orbit the sun.
With love,
Sigourney Belle X
