In the Soviet Union, where I was born, children were taken away from the mother as soon as they were born. She might see them 24 hours after, to feed them, and then a few times a day, just for feeding, for a week or so. Neither father nor anyone else was allowed to be there during birth or any time during the week-long hospital stay. The rationale was "keeping the child safe from other people's germs" but of course that was not the reason, and the birthing ward was actually dirty to the point of nausea. I don't have the swear words to describe it. And I imagine it contributes a lot to the culture, life, and politics in that part of the world...
So heartbreaking. The motherless. I so deeply understand this on so many levels. I’m a momma of three little boys. I had home births and live in a pretty quiet village in Peru. Yet the feeling of being unheld through these chapters feels overwhelming at times. I’m building other supports where society found itself lost and forgetful. I was an orphan rewriting the relationship with mother on many layers
I really appreciate what you’ve shared and there’s just so much more too which I’m sure you’re aware. Female circumcism is considered a crime against humanity however male circumcism is not? Why? The why for me for all of it is what I call ‘the inversion’—a purposeful flipping of all that was wholesome and generally traditional, in alignment with nature and with god/source to its polarity which benefits only a controller class. All of it produces weak men, weak attachment, weak families, weak communities—a subjugated collective. As a collective we need to stop blaming each other and decide to consciously correct these distortions.
You found a lot of words to describe something deep and multilayered when mini is only 5. I had similar thoughts when mine was younger but I don’t think I ever managed to describe it like this. Mine are 15 and 12 now ✌🏾
I reread your article. For me it still doesn't answer the question why men choose to drug and rape. What about all the motherless girls? I'm a motherless child. My attachment was interupted. Yes I was fucked up in my earlier life. Did I SA someone? No. Did I drug someome? No. Did I feel rage, hate, anger, pain? Yes. Did I act out. Yes. But I was always aware of the point of choice in myself. There was always a moment where I chose to go fuck it. I think every child could do with more love, bonding and attachment. Do I think this would stop men from doing what they do. No. Becasue boys are taught from a very early age that girls and women are less important than they are. I think changing that would have a far bigger impact.
In the Soviet Union, where I was born, children were taken away from the mother as soon as they were born. She might see them 24 hours after, to feed them, and then a few times a day, just for feeding, for a week or so. Neither father nor anyone else was allowed to be there during birth or any time during the week-long hospital stay. The rationale was "keeping the child safe from other people's germs" but of course that was not the reason, and the birthing ward was actually dirty to the point of nausea. I don't have the swear words to describe it. And I imagine it contributes a lot to the culture, life, and politics in that part of the world...
So heartbreaking. The motherless. I so deeply understand this on so many levels. I’m a momma of three little boys. I had home births and live in a pretty quiet village in Peru. Yet the feeling of being unheld through these chapters feels overwhelming at times. I’m building other supports where society found itself lost and forgetful. I was an orphan rewriting the relationship with mother on many layers
I really appreciate what you’ve shared and there’s just so much more too which I’m sure you’re aware. Female circumcism is considered a crime against humanity however male circumcism is not? Why? The why for me for all of it is what I call ‘the inversion’—a purposeful flipping of all that was wholesome and generally traditional, in alignment with nature and with god/source to its polarity which benefits only a controller class. All of it produces weak men, weak attachment, weak families, weak communities—a subjugated collective. As a collective we need to stop blaming each other and decide to consciously correct these distortions.
I have a lot of thoughts and appreciation for this text and I will check out your book. One question, out of curiosity: How old is your minihuman now?
mini human is nearing on 5 ❤️
You found a lot of words to describe something deep and multilayered when mini is only 5. I had similar thoughts when mine was younger but I don’t think I ever managed to describe it like this. Mine are 15 and 12 now ✌🏾
‘Men do harm because something failed in mothering’. Yep blame women again. It’s all our fault.
As an adult, you are always a choice. These men are choosing to become rapist scum.
You can have:
* trauma
* neglect
* conditioning
…and still choose not to:
* harm another person
* commit violence
* choose exploitation
Blaming mothers and making them the origin point, that completely ignores:
* fathers
* wider family systems
* peer culture
* media and porn ecosystems
* individual moral agency
Many people with severe trauma do not harm others. I am one of them.
Early relational wounds can shape:
* emotional regulation
* empathy
* attachment
BUT
They do not remove choice.
They do not determine behaviour.
They do not excuse harm.
Men rape women because they choose to. Why they choose to do that, now that’s a question to answer.
it sounds like you haven’t read the article.
I reread your article. For me it still doesn't answer the question why men choose to drug and rape. What about all the motherless girls? I'm a motherless child. My attachment was interupted. Yes I was fucked up in my earlier life. Did I SA someone? No. Did I drug someome? No. Did I feel rage, hate, anger, pain? Yes. Did I act out. Yes. But I was always aware of the point of choice in myself. There was always a moment where I chose to go fuck it. I think every child could do with more love, bonding and attachment. Do I think this would stop men from doing what they do. No. Becasue boys are taught from a very early age that girls and women are less important than they are. I think changing that would have a far bigger impact.
Nothing can account for that directly. Only contribute.
There are so many factors involved that contribute — it’s not so straight forwards to just be able to say a + b = c
It’s inherited personality qualities, it’s genetic, it’s cultural, it’s trauma initiated from the pregnancy and postpartum continuum.
https://sigourneybelle.substack.com/p/it-is-not-the-y-chromosome?r=1rro86&utm_medium=ios