The alchemical healing potential of relationships.

I knew that when he told me that he was flying over from Belgium to see me during the first week of October, that things were about to shift for me, in a big way.

As an Astrologer, who regularly tracks the cycles of what is happening in the Cosmos - with a forever curiosity of how this impacts the seasons and tides of my life, I knew that October was a huge month for relationships.

On the 3rd of October, we had a Libra New Moon South Node Eclipse, which was in conjunction with the Asteroid Juno - the asteroid that rules sacred marriage.

So within, so without. This eclipse portal was in the Sign of Libra- which rules relationships. Being in conjunction with the South Node, it represented Karmic closures and endings and it was asking us to pay attention to what in our relationships needed to be let go of in order to transform.

Because it was in conjunction with Juno, it was also a potent gateway and glimpse into sacred marriage - which, of course, first begins with the sacred connection we have with ourselves; everything is an extension of this.

I remember looking at my tongue in the mirror the week before he arrived and seeing a crack in the part of my tongue that represents the heart. I had been experiencing anxiety and shortness of breath leading up to his arrival - paired with a strange new pain that was running down my pericardium meridian which led to an infection in my finger on that channel. My body was already moving tension from my heart before he arrived.

Our journey together this week, over the eclipse period, was nothing short of profound. My body felt safe to open - and when we feel safety and love, we tend to also experience everything that is in the way of that.

That was my experience this week.

Everything that was in the way of my heart being able to surrender and open to receiving love revealed itself - and it was not pretty at times.

My distrust came up.

My fears of abandonment came up.

And he graciously held it.

He allowed me to feel it and he validated me - without validating the underlying story that was dying in me - the story that I would be abandoned, if I opened my heart.

He shared with me, “I am not running away - I am on your side and I am your ally”

I had to re-experience the abandonment I felt in early pregnancy, as my heart opened. It was painful and it was hard, but I allowed it to move.

This morning, the day after he left, I looked in the mirror and stuck out my tongue. The crack that was in my tongue, on my heart, had gone.

I can stand taller. It feels easier to breathe.

I feel completely different.

I feel like I can breathe into and trust in life and love again.