Timely. A couple of weeks ago I got into a spat with a sister who I've known for a few years. We discovered we were both working on launching similar themed (but very different in application) programs. Naturally I felt it would be awesome to exchange mutual participation and perhaps consider deeper collaboration once we understood what each other's angle was. Boy did it backfire. She was much less confident in her work than I, and rather than respond to my heartfelt offer and excitement with curiosity, she jabbed me the first chance she got on something super trivial. I could feel the wounding behind it. The subtle manipulation, the attempt to establish hierarchy and feel better about herself by pushing me down, the laziness to truly engage. I responded quite sharply with a boundary and decided to let it sit for a while. I know she'll come around and we'll work it out. This post helps clarify a few thing! 👌✨
That you for so eloquently breaking down an interesting phenomenon I’ve been experiencing recently. It’s hard navigating situations like this with friends, especially when past traumas are present and a depth of love for each other exist. This at least helped me put words to what I have been feeling.
Thank you for this. Oppositional defiance is a great way of seeing the pattern. I've been using the lens of gaslighting but it didn't feel quite right. And thank you for sharing how to negotiate it gently. I'm afraid I showed much more annoyance.
Timely. A couple of weeks ago I got into a spat with a sister who I've known for a few years. We discovered we were both working on launching similar themed (but very different in application) programs. Naturally I felt it would be awesome to exchange mutual participation and perhaps consider deeper collaboration once we understood what each other's angle was. Boy did it backfire. She was much less confident in her work than I, and rather than respond to my heartfelt offer and excitement with curiosity, she jabbed me the first chance she got on something super trivial. I could feel the wounding behind it. The subtle manipulation, the attempt to establish hierarchy and feel better about herself by pushing me down, the laziness to truly engage. I responded quite sharply with a boundary and decided to let it sit for a while. I know she'll come around and we'll work it out. This post helps clarify a few thing! 👌✨
Loved this, a great articulation thank you
That you for so eloquently breaking down an interesting phenomenon I’ve been experiencing recently. It’s hard navigating situations like this with friends, especially when past traumas are present and a depth of love for each other exist. This at least helped me put words to what I have been feeling.
💜✨🙏🏼
thanks for receiving it 🫶
Super inspiring. I can identify with all of this! Thanks for the toolkit.
Thank you for this. Oppositional defiance is a great way of seeing the pattern. I've been using the lens of gaslighting but it didn't feel quite right. And thank you for sharing how to negotiate it gently. I'm afraid I showed much more annoyance.